Letters Out Loud

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Dear Ally,

I have been sitting here thinking about what month it is and how close we are getting to the date of your death. I can only see the pain it will cause me deep down inside. I have not been able to get over your loss or fully stp mourning you the moment you crossed the rainbow bridge. I have not decided what to do with my life or made any major plans. In fact, I am living day to day because I can't see the future the way I saw it with you.

It's not that I love anyone or Osito less at all. it's just that you were the one living, breathing thing that inspired me the most. I might be getting better at fighting back the tears, and better at being able to smile, but I am not fixed yet. I don't think I'll ever be truthfully.

There are people, pets, and things that come into your life that will always leave a lasting impression. You were that thing for me. You were the lasting impression. I wish I could shake the awful feelings I feel when I think of your loss, and remember the happy things, and smile in your memory. I'm sure one day, that day shall come. It's just not today.

I have decided to drop a calendar and book with your letters in your name pre-Christmas season. I think a year of letters and memories, is exactly what we all need. Those who love you, would appreciate it and think very fond of the idea.

I started a Patreon this month. I am going to use it to start writing again and hopefully become a writer. I think next to designing, it's really where my heart is and where I can feel you the most. The writings will not only be for you, but a fictional story I have been writing for years. I am just hoping it turns out well as I am not the best writer.

I love and miss you Ally. We go hand in hand, like the sea meets the horizon. I will love you, always and forever.

Love,

Mom and Little Brother O

Ps. He started chasing a cat today and scared the crap out of me.